Maximum Ride Kicks Ass
by Chocol8Chip
Summary: Crossover with KickAss. It's not letting me put it in that crossover category, this is based on the movie except with MR people. Follow Iggy, Fang, Nudge, Angel and Gazzy as they learn how to kick some serious butt/be heroes from Maximum Ride
1. FatherDaughter Bonding with Guns?

**Hey, this is my...second story on here :) I kind of discontinued the other one (for now anyway) because I took that story's idea from a book I'm writing. Well actually, they are completely different but the plot is sort of the same I guess. Thanks to the many people that favorited it and the few that bothered to review. Don't worry, I'm not greedy for reviews. **

**ANYWAYS. **

**I decided to make a KickAss and MR crossover because...well I just did. I mean, imangine our favourite winged kids in the costume KickAss wore?Or what Mindy wore? Purple wig anyone? Well, their costumes aren't as silly in this one. OH YEAH-they are no real kickass characters really, I basically replaced them with flock members or other members from MR. Like Mindy and Mindy's dad is Max and Jeb FYI. Dylan is the rich evil dude's son. Sam is sort of KickAss but he will have a small role later on because the story isn't about HIM being a hero, but the flock. Marcus (the police guy that is friend's with Mindy's dad in the movie) is in it. **

**You don't have to have read MR or watched KICKASS. But if you have watched kickass then you'll notice it's really similar in terms of what's happening. Iggy CAN see. and I don't own Maximum Ride or Kickass (I don't understand why we have to say that. Isn't it obvious? Plus I wouldnt want to be JP at the moment, fans are kind of pissed about ANGEL.) Oh and I'm sorry if Max and Jeb are out of character, Max does not hate Jeb in this. **

Max's/Mindy's POV

"This won't hurt as much as you think," he lifted the gun so it was aimed for my chest. I started breathing heavily. Sure, I've dealt with guns before. I shot them and had to steal them from my attacker. But I never had to actually stand there and take a bullet through my heart. Not dodging like I usually do.

I nodded my head saying go ahead. A loud bang went off and I shut my eyes. I felt something hit my chest. The impact threw me back so I was laying a meter away from where I was standing.

Dam, that hurt. I defiantly don't want to ever get shot.

"That wasn't too bad was it?" My dad, Jeb Bacheldor. He has got to be the coolest dad ever. He put the gun in his pocket and held out his hand. I grabbed it and he lifted me up. "Ready for round two? No flinching. If you do it without flinching 3 more times, we can go for ice cream."

"Cool!" I said sticking out my bullet-proof-vest cladded chest out. "I'm ready. Bring it on Daddy."

* * *

><p>"Max, you have ice cream on your nose," Jeb smiled at me. I licked it off and stared back at my giant sundae. I love this diner and their ice cream. "So, how are you and Dylan doing?" He raised his eyebrows suggestively.<p>

"Dad, you know I'm only dating him for you. I found out that he's the one that's going to be taking over his dad's business. He still hasn't told me what his business is about though. It's not like I don't know already." I guess I should explain. My name is Mindy Bacheldor. Or so it says on my birth certificate. I'm only Mindy when I'm with my 'boyfriend' Dylan. My dad calls me Max, as in Maximum Ride. My alias.

Yes, I go around wearing a costume and playing superhero. Someone has to do it right? I keep a low profile as Maximum Ride. I do missions for my dad and sometimes with him. He calls it 'saving the world, one city at a time.' Mainly we have been trying to shut down my 'boyfriend's' dad's 'company'. They trade and sell coke and illegal things. Coke as in sniff sniff coke, not the sugary pop. I'm only pretending to like Dylan to get information out of him about his uber insane dad. A super duper rich uber insane dad. With a lot of employees with guns. He has connections all across the world which keeps him out of trouble with the police. I know I know. I'm using him. But his dad shot some poor guy in between the eyes because he heard about his plan. Who's the real bad guy here?

"Don't you have a date with him tonight?" Jeb asked me taking a sip of his coffee. I groaned, Dylan was the perfect gentleman. Which annoys the heck out of me.

"Yeah, we are going to the movies with his dad." I could tell my dad looked bummed that he didn't get to go undercover. Like when he was an agent.

When he graduated, he immediately became an agent for the CIA (after years of training in college of course). He hurt his leg 10 years later and became a scientist for 20 years. He met my mom and they had a fun time in bed and then comes me.

Apparently, I have a rare type of genes and blood that is just asking to be tampered with. The minute Jeb's science partner figured out about me, he wanted me to be his experiment.

Did I mention the guy was insane?

So obviously my dad reclined and quit and ran away with my mom and I. Which didn't blow over so well with his partner. When I was 2, he found us and framed Jeb for illegal drug abuse. When Jeb was in jail, he killed my mom and tried to take me. But remember when my dad was an agent? Marcus, my dad's old CIA partner, came to my rescue 2 weeks after I was taken. The scientist escaped though. Marcus raised me for a year and when I was 3, he proved my dad's innocence and my dad was set free.

3 years later, Jeb met another girl and they hit it off and had my half brother- Ari- when I was 6. The sucky part is when Jeb was getting some Mcdonalds, the insane scientist came back. He killed Ari's mom-who was protecting me. Then I was kidnapped again. I was 7 at the time and let me tell you-being kidnapped sucks. He gave me a painful shot then locked me in a cage.

My dad finally killed the psycho and decided to teach me self defence and how to fight. And that is why I'm a wiz with guns, fighting, knives...practically everything. I'm strong and fast too. We tried training Ari but that kid has the attention span of a dog.

"MAX!" I grabbed the hand that was in front of my face and bent it back. "MAX, IT'S ME."

I smiled sheepishly and let his hand go. My dad rubbed his hand painfully. "I never should have taught you that..."

"You know not to wave a hand in my face while I'm in la la land..." I said finishing off my sundae.

"Well EXCUSE ME," my dad huffed. I loved these moments. Where my dad isn't so serious about his work. Where we could just chill. "Come on, we still have to put you in that tramp outfit." He got up getting his cash out and putting it on the table.

"Don't the contacts and red hair," I shivered at the thought. From my and my dad's research-Dylan liked his redheads. Redheaded sluts. Sucks for him because I have only ever met one redhead who was a slut. His ex girlfriend Lissa.


	2. Anybody could be a Superhero

**Here is the second chapter. Let me know what you guys think..? I repeat. Iggy isn't blind. There will be a fight scene soon though. Again. I'm following the movie. **

Iggy`s/Jeff POV

Ever since our dad went to jail for being a psychopath and our mom died from an overdose-My siblings and my life has been pretty freaking great. Our dad never really cared about us-he was a scientist, which was his only love in the world. Even our mom didn't match up to it.

By our, I mean Ariel and Zephyr and mine. They are my blood-brother and sister. Zephyr is only 8 but is still one of my best friends even though there is a 6 year age difference. He looks almost exactly like Ariel –our 6 year old angel-light blue eyes, bright blonde curly hair. I have the same eyes but paler blonde hair which is always spiky at the front. No curls for me.

After our dad went to jail a week after Ariel was born (mom died soon after, I was 7 at the time)-we moved in with our foster mom, Anne Walker. She was every teenager's dream mom. She was always busy all day so she never snooped around our stuff. She wasn't nosy, left delicious food for us at the right time (she's a chef at her own restaurant), makes us gourmet lunches, gives us money when we ask for it with no questions-basically, she cared about us but gave us tons of space. She only has ever yelled at us because Zephyr and I blew up Ariel's Mickey Mouse alarm clock. But I have got to say-Ariel gave us more crap then Anne did.

Other then the fact I can make bombs with my kid brother out of a stuff you can find in a bedroom and the fact I can cook better then Gordon Ramsey (well, maybe, a kid can dream)- I was a regular high school freshman. I have had a lot of girlfriends this year but apparently, I only qualify for 2nd or 3rd hottest in school. My other guy best friend is in first.

Nick. One word that describes him-emo. Well, he looks emo anyways. Black 'silky' long hair that gets into his 'black memorizing orbs that are his eyes.' Perfectly muscled; not so much that he looks like a bodybuilder but so much that he has a 'drool worthy 8 pack.' I'm basically quoting what some of the girls' say about him. Honest.

Speak of the devil and the devil shall come.

"Yo." he gave me a head nod that only he can pull off without looking like a total douche or a player. "How's mister Tall, Dark and silent?" –A nickname that was given to him by, again, the girls'. If you're wondering if I'm jealous-hell _yes. _Of course, every girl would date me because I'm _2__nd__. _But, I'm not mysterious. And well 'have a maturity level of a 6 year old.' THAT's what the girl's say about me.

He just looked gave me a look then looked back elementary school. 2 girls stepped out from behind him; one was 11 and one was 10. Ella and Monique.

The girls were Nick's cousins. His mom is sisters with their mom but his mom died in a fire when he was one. His dad left before he was even born. Monique wasn't really blood related to Nick like Ella was. Dr. M is Ella's mom –Monique and Ella share the same dad though. Monique has black skin from her dad and real mom (who left them after birth) and caramel eyes from her real mum. She looks exactly like Marcus (her dad) but in girl form. She has unruly brown hair which is why nobody buys her combs anymore. Then there's Ella. The clone of Dr. M; the only thing she got from Marcus was her quiet shy side. Which frankly, I think it's because of Nick. At least we know that Ella and Monique wont be teased for their cousin-let's say Nick also doesn't look like the type to fart rainbows and ride unicorns around. He's more like death. His glares are scary!

"Jeff!" Zephyr rushed out of his school and high fived me. Ariel skipped after him. We always all meet up here so I can pick up my siblings while Nick picks up his then walk to our houses- which are right next to each other.

Or we ditch the girls and go to the our favourite hangout. Like today.

"I'll get the drinks. Nick, help Zephyr count his money. He really wants that new spiderman comic. I'm no good with numbers." Nick mumbled something about questioning what I'm good at, which I ignored. "Which flavour?"

"VANILLA!"

"Chocolate banana."

"It's called Chunky Monkey, Nickypoo." With that, he stalked off –like the short tempered person he is-to help Zephyr pay. Kids. I grabbed our drinks and joined them at the booth at the window.

Nick glared at his milk shake, as if it insulted him. He turned his glare on me and I got ready for his wrath.

"This is strawberry," he stated. He's a man of many words.

"Very good Nick," I said like a kindergarten teacher appraising a child because they pointed out which shape fit in which hole. He was about to say something but shut his mouth when there was a plunk! next to him.

Sam was another good friend of ours. He was kind of a nerd though-tucked in shirts, big glasses and has a batman comforter with matching pillows on his bed. He has more comic books then I have magazine clippings of girls. I have A LOT OF THOSE.

At least he saved me from getting a mouth full of words coming from Nick.

"Hey guys, guess who is just getting out of the limo?"

"Megan Fox?" Zephyr jumped up and looked out the window.

"He's becoming like you more and more," Sam commented to me shaking his head while I ruffled my kid brother's hair proudly. He looked over at the youngest, "Yes, because Megan Fox loves posing in lingerie against comic book stands with cut outs of Aqua man behind her." Zephyr pumped his fist in the air and peeked out the window accidently.

Nick gave me a look that said 'was he dropped on his head at birth? Thrown at a wall?'. I found it sad that I couldn't answer that. "No, Zephyr, Megan isn't here. But out of curiosity, who is?" I directed my question at Sam.

"Dylan D'Amico. Who else has a rich dad around here?"

"I actually kind of feel sorry for the guy. I mean, nobody is an allowed _near _him so friends are out of the question. Well, other than his girlfriend, Mindy something. Even then, they don't go out to public places on dates," I said.

"Maybe it has something to do with the gorilla he has for a bodyguard," Zephyr pointed out as he looked over his shoulder to see him walk in.

"I think someone should go talk to him. If he was our friend-nobody would ever screw around with us," Sam said.

"Nobody ever does anyways as long as we're with Mr. Tall, Dark and Silent over here," I jerked my head at Nick who gave me the bird.

"Still, think about what this kid would have in his room! Probably a flat screen, xbox, wii and a playstation! Jeff, you go." I was going to murder Sam.

"Why me?"

"Zephyr is too young. I'm too much of a geek. Nick is just plain scary. It's all you." I moaned and started walking up to Dylan who was looking at a rack of comics looking bored. When he heard me coming he looked up and smiled showing a full set of pearly white teeth. He looked happy to see someone to come talk to him.

Out of nowhere, a giant hand clamped my wrist before I ran into something bulging and black. I looked up-oops. It was the gorilla's stomach.

"Fuck off." Was all he said intimidating voice. But I have known Nick forever and have basically blown up most of his junk.

"That's not very friendly. I think this was a horrible first impression-" I rambled on and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Nick walking quickly over to me. I turned my eyes back to the gorilla and saw his hand flying towards my gut. Nick pushed me a little so he missed.

Nick hauled me over to him by my bicep –my manly bulging, muscled bicep-and just glared at the gorilla. I saw fear flash in his eyes before he told Dylan that they were leaving this danger zone. Nick really has an effect on people.

"Must you do this every time?" Dylan whispered angrily. "Don't forget we have to pick up Mindy for our date." With that, they left.

OW! I felt Nick hit me upside the head. "You and your big mouth."

I followed him back to our booth where my brother was reading his comic and arguing with Sam about which superhero is the best.

"That looked like it went well," Zephyr said sarcastically.

"Yep, Dylan and the gorilla even gave us friendship bracelets," I held up my wrist where the bodyguard held on to me. It had a light red ring around it from the bodyguards meaty hands. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Superheros," my brother answered. "Have you ever wondered why nobody has tried to be a superhero? Like, in real life I mean."

"Because you would get the crap beaten out of you," Nick answered sipping his milkshake scowling at me.

"I agree with him, why not? If you were big and bulky, have ninja skills or are Nick, you could easily put on a costume and help people out. Well, no costume for Nick. It would lose his scariness." Nick gave Sam the bird too then stood up.

"What if he wore a batman costume?" I said, "It's all emo."

"As long as he's not wearing the wonder woman costume, I'm good." Zephyr and I shivered at the thought. Nick looked like he was ready to castrate us.

"Why are you discussing a costume I will never wear? I'm going home. You guys coming?" The rare occasion where he talks in full sentences. Baby steps Nick.

"I have to go to the library with Sam. We have to finish our project. Take Zephyr home."

After my brother and him left, we walked the opposite way as them. We walked across the empty parking lot in the crappy part of town where the library is. We tried to stay as hidden as possible though.

There's something I have to say. My dad was a scientist right? Well, when Ariel was born he gave all of us a shot. He said it would make us have a higher pain tolerance, and as strong and fast as a grown man. He thought it didn't work on us –which was why he tried to kidnap some girl my age- but it did. Ariel was too young to show it but I told Zephyr to hide the abilities. Our father said that to people with normal blood types and DNA- it would have killed them or just give them rush of energy for a minute or so. Aren't we special?

That doesn't mean I use my strength and speed though. Just in case you guys thought I would go all ninja in the text below.

"Woah woah woah, geek patrol," Faibian –a buff black guy- blew smoke from his mouth before putting the cigarette in his mouth.

"Dudes, not again," Sam whimpered knowing what's coming next.

"Do you want to get cut?" Shawn –a short white wannabee gangster type- said flipping his switchblade. Now, I know I could have beat them in the strength and speed department. But they can actually street fight- their skills beat mine. I almost got beat up by a 6 year old.

Ariel can be vicious when she wants to.

"No," I grumbled grabbing the only money I had in my pocket. I hope they enjoy 3 dollars and 9 cents because that's all I have.

"Phones?"

"You took mine last week," Sam said at the same time I said, "Don't got one."

"Move along," was what they said before shoving us away. I looked over to Sam who was shaking because he was terrified. There was an odd spark of determination in his eyes.

I looked up as if the sky could tell me how to get my allowance back. I saw some guy in the window of an apartment that shared the parking lot with some other buildings. The guy watched us then closed the curtains. He just watched. Didn't do a thing.

I thought back to my conversation with my friends. Sure-I didn't think Batman or Spiderman would take time off their schedule to get us our money back but what about this guy? He could have done ANYTHING but instead, he watched. Then turned as if he didn't see anything.

Admit it, if you were in his position. Would you have done the same?


End file.
